A masochist walked up to a sadist, and said "Hurt me." The sadist said "No" and walked away.
How often in life do we get what we want, but not in the way we expected. How often does God answer our prayers, but instead of getting the answer or thing we asked for directly, he gives us a real answer, a real solution.
How often have I prayed for God to help me get organised, or get this work done. Then suddenly when ive procrastinated yet again, and as of right now have 6 assignments to do in roughly 4 days. I think why. Then realise, slowly I am learning.
In other breaking news, I spent the last day and a bit gardening, tidying and cleaning as I arrived home wednesday evening to find we had a flat inspection on friday. Three flatmates were away for the week, one working 6am to 6pm, one had class all day thursday and a post-op doctors appointment in dunedin on friday. Doh. Let it be said, if EVER you are landscaping. Bricks over soil are DUMB. Weeding weeds from between bricks is a stupid, painful, mind numbing, labourius, back breaking, monotonous, frustrating, slow task. Enough said.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Mike's Life - busyness and fear
Well, hello again world. Life is getting busy, right now i have about one month left of course. In that time i have to hand in 6 assignments, do one half hour teaching lesson, log 8 days of mountain practical, participate in the second year 5 day expidition, attend two 21sts, sit two theory tests and two practical assessments, make one hungi, find a job for the next few weeks and sort out my flatting situation for the summer and next year. Wooot!
Life is great though really :) spent the whole of last week in Murchison kayaking. (and some time attempting to kayak but instead swimming. It became frustratingly obvious to me the power of fear. As most of you know i had a rather large beating kayaking something i should not have been on earlier this year. Now rivers and runs and moves that should be easy i cannot concentrate on, do not trust myself to do and are afraid to try. I get in the river and feel like a mere shell of what i used to be. It's frustrating beyond belief to know you are physically capable of doing somethign, but your headspace is not together enough to do it. It's also an amazing insight into other peoples worlds. Beginners that are fearful i have more empathy for now.
At the same time it begs the question, how much more in life could we achieve were we not afraid of failure?
Life is great though really :) spent the whole of last week in Murchison kayaking. (and some time attempting to kayak but instead swimming. It became frustratingly obvious to me the power of fear. As most of you know i had a rather large beating kayaking something i should not have been on earlier this year. Now rivers and runs and moves that should be easy i cannot concentrate on, do not trust myself to do and are afraid to try. I get in the river and feel like a mere shell of what i used to be. It's frustrating beyond belief to know you are physically capable of doing somethign, but your headspace is not together enough to do it. It's also an amazing insight into other peoples worlds. Beginners that are fearful i have more empathy for now.
At the same time it begs the question, how much more in life could we achieve were we not afraid of failure?
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Life forgot the pause button
When i was one, life was chum
Then i was two, and learnt to poo
Soon came three, to walk and be free
Along came four, food mum, more
Next came five, school came alive
Wham bam six, grazed knees to fix
Straight into seven, tree hut was my heaven
Before long eight, always in bed late
Turning nine, almost at that double digit line
Begun the great ten, felt ready to join the men
Flying into eleven, felt like yesterday i was seven
Falling into twelve, to college i longed to delve
Launching into thirteen, suddenly girls were seen
Striding through fourteen, she was my lifes queen
Crunch at fifteen, suddenly life gets mean
Still at sixteen, mum yells to clean
Meeting seventeen, to drink i am keen
Confusing eighteen, still lost too my scene
Reaching nineteen, off school i must wean
Life flys at old twenty, like a ball off a tee
At twenty-one, of me what is to become?
Then i was two, and learnt to poo
Soon came three, to walk and be free
Along came four, food mum, more
Next came five, school came alive
Wham bam six, grazed knees to fix
Straight into seven, tree hut was my heaven
Before long eight, always in bed late
Turning nine, almost at that double digit line
Begun the great ten, felt ready to join the men
Flying into eleven, felt like yesterday i was seven
Falling into twelve, to college i longed to delve
Launching into thirteen, suddenly girls were seen
Striding through fourteen, she was my lifes queen
Crunch at fifteen, suddenly life gets mean
Still at sixteen, mum yells to clean
Meeting seventeen, to drink i am keen
Confusing eighteen, still lost too my scene
Reaching nineteen, off school i must wean
Life flys at old twenty, like a ball off a tee
At twenty-one, of me what is to become?
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Focus and Life
Why is it that we seek adrenaline to feel alive. To me those moment climbing, or kayaking where all my focus is solely on staying alive, on the next move, on what is happening now are some of the most alive moments of my life. My entire body, mind, and heart are all focussed on but one goal. Normal distractions become irrelivent. At times I wonder why I cannot live the rest of my life this focussed. Imagine the potential, if we all could live with such determination and focus that we devoted every single ounce of our energy to achieving the task at hand.
The feeling of being suddenly solely responsible for the outcomes of your existence. Which really happens all the time. However suddenly paddling down a big rapid, or high up a rock climb placing trad. This is when reality bites. It rears its head and says hello, your move.
The feeling of being suddenly solely responsible for the outcomes of your existence. Which really happens all the time. However suddenly paddling down a big rapid, or high up a rock climb placing trad. This is when reality bites. It rears its head and says hello, your move.
Sunday, August 20, 2006
Potential
"The purpose of teaching is to provide students with an experience of their greatness"
So often we live life worrying about not losing, not failing. Yet rarely do we truly commit to seeing and attempting to gain what we can achieve, can win.
I was over on the west coast at Fox last week ice climbing and climbing some hills n what not. Walking along some dodgy narrow piece of glacier with a big crevasse on each side of me it struck me how our minds so easily get preoccupied with thoughts of failure. 'What if i fall, what if i slip'. Instead of merely thinking how great it's going to be when i get accross.
It is often said we each have no idea how many people we influence in our life time. If each of us as individuals manage to allow just one person a month to help "experience their greatness" that is at least 600 people in our lifetime. Easily more.
Step out and see what you can achieve, it is only by facing fear, forgetting what we may lose, instead aspiring towards what we may achieve, that we can in fact live life to its fullest.
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Out of place
I was getting ready for bed, walked into my room after brushing my teeth, curtains shut, closed the door. When BUZZZZZZZ. Suddenly i duck as there is a large bee flying around my head. It struck me as quite strange. Strange how out of place it was. Timaru in winter is not an insects paradise. Smog, cold frosty nights, i think its supposed to hit -3 tonight. I dont think i have seen a bee all winter. Let alone inside my bedroom at 11 at night. The bee was just fully in the wrong place.
I got to thinking how often in life we can get ourselves into similar situations. God has given us a unique personality, a unique set of gifts, and has a unique plan for our lives. Just like that little bee has a unique environment it lives best in. Open fields with flowering plants or shrubs and warm conditions.
Yet so often like that bee we end up where we shouldnt be. We think we can direct our own life. We dont need help. We stop praying and stop reading Gods big ol book of directions to us. We ignore what we inside ourselves know to be true.
What happens? Just like that bee we end up somewhere thats not right. We dont fit in there, things dont work out, dont feel right. Then what do we do? If were like that little bee we fly round madly and pointlessly. Until i got a big torch and turned off the light, using the torch to guide it out the bee just flew in circles.
God is our light, and i wonder looking back in my life at how often ive run round in circles ignoring the glaring huge spotlight showing me the way. So often i think i can do it myself, dont need help. Think i should be strong enough and smart enough to sort out my own mess. Hopefully one of these days ill learn that im not. But that thankfully God loves me enough to keep putting me back on track.
I got to thinking how often in life we can get ourselves into similar situations. God has given us a unique personality, a unique set of gifts, and has a unique plan for our lives. Just like that little bee has a unique environment it lives best in. Open fields with flowering plants or shrubs and warm conditions.
Yet so often like that bee we end up where we shouldnt be. We think we can direct our own life. We dont need help. We stop praying and stop reading Gods big ol book of directions to us. We ignore what we inside ourselves know to be true.
What happens? Just like that bee we end up somewhere thats not right. We dont fit in there, things dont work out, dont feel right. Then what do we do? If were like that little bee we fly round madly and pointlessly. Until i got a big torch and turned off the light, using the torch to guide it out the bee just flew in circles.
God is our light, and i wonder looking back in my life at how often ive run round in circles ignoring the glaring huge spotlight showing me the way. So often i think i can do it myself, dont need help. Think i should be strong enough and smart enough to sort out my own mess. Hopefully one of these days ill learn that im not. But that thankfully God loves me enough to keep putting me back on track.
Friday, July 28, 2006
Growing up?
I had the chance to help out with some corporate team building the other day. I helped out on the second of two days, we had 100 clients there. Having the chance to sit back and observe people throughout my course has provided a lot of interesting insight in the human pysche.
Children moan bitterly how boring something is, 2 minutes later are having the time of their life, then 5 minutes later when its time to stop moan bitterly and beg you to let them continue playing.
Adults pull the macho act, act staunch, swear violently how something is rubbish, 2 minutes later are involved so intensely cheering and grinning they probably wouldnt notice if a pig flew past, then 5 minutes later are telling heroic stories of the game.
Nothing is more competitive then rival shifts. Nothing is more aggressive then three-legged basketball. Nothing is more hilarious then a fight during three-legged basketball.
But yeah, life is good. I read a good book. Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Go live life so you dont end a long life never having lived.
Children moan bitterly how boring something is, 2 minutes later are having the time of their life, then 5 minutes later when its time to stop moan bitterly and beg you to let them continue playing.
Adults pull the macho act, act staunch, swear violently how something is rubbish, 2 minutes later are involved so intensely cheering and grinning they probably wouldnt notice if a pig flew past, then 5 minutes later are telling heroic stories of the game.
Nothing is more competitive then rival shifts. Nothing is more aggressive then three-legged basketball. Nothing is more hilarious then a fight during three-legged basketball.
But yeah, life is good. I read a good book. Wild at Heart by John Eldredge
Go live life so you dont end a long life never having lived.
Monday, July 17, 2006
A few ponderings
Romans 14: 9 - 13 (NIV)
For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgement seat. It is written
"'As surely as I live', says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tounge will confess to God.'"
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
So, were all sinners, none of us are perfect. Why is it then were so quick to point out non-christians "evil ways". How come people are so quick to criticise people for drinking, having premarital sex, homosexuality. Yet so often gossip, backstabbing, lies and slander goes unnoticed.
In our modern day church, how easy is it for someone to say to his friend, ooops, i probably should have been nicer to so and so, i probably shouldnt have said that about so and so. Yet how hard is it for someone to say to his friend, ooops i drunk too much again, ooops i slipped up and watched some dodgy movie again.
Why do we as christians, me as a christian, find it easier to accept each others lies then others homosexuality, then others drinking, then others morals. Then others life situations.
I pray and hope that as i know i am guilty of these things, that every day i can accept more and judge less.
I wonder how much the church could give this world if it merely loved and accepted more then it condemned.
Life is good :) hope your all well!
For this very reason, Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living. You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God's judgement seat. It is written
"'As surely as I live', says the Lord,
'every knee will bow before me;
every tounge will confess to God.'"
So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us stop passing judgement on one another. Instead make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way.
So, were all sinners, none of us are perfect. Why is it then were so quick to point out non-christians "evil ways". How come people are so quick to criticise people for drinking, having premarital sex, homosexuality. Yet so often gossip, backstabbing, lies and slander goes unnoticed.
In our modern day church, how easy is it for someone to say to his friend, ooops, i probably should have been nicer to so and so, i probably shouldnt have said that about so and so. Yet how hard is it for someone to say to his friend, ooops i drunk too much again, ooops i slipped up and watched some dodgy movie again.
Why do we as christians, me as a christian, find it easier to accept each others lies then others homosexuality, then others drinking, then others morals. Then others life situations.
I pray and hope that as i know i am guilty of these things, that every day i can accept more and judge less.
I wonder how much the church could give this world if it merely loved and accepted more then it condemned.
Life is good :) hope your all well!
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Poetry Warning
The Rapid
Fear fills the mind, still the river thunders
Power beyond belief, slowly strangles all sense
Mind severed from body
White frothed water spells out death
Deep breathes clear the mind
White hell reveals but one weakness
Decision made, eddie left, floating rebel
Power undescribable, effort unrivalled
The river yields
Joy overpowering, life forever altered
On Arrival
As i gaze across the peaks
Insignificance fills my soul
All emotions overloaded
The sheer size breathtaking
Raw power terrifying
Pure beauty smothering
Yet here I am
The mountain conquered
Body spend and exhausted
While the soul is giddy
Its thirst quenched
Pulsing contentment through my veins
Until the pain resides
When it screams for freedom
The freedom of the hills
Fear fills the mind, still the river thunders
Power beyond belief, slowly strangles all sense
Mind severed from body
White frothed water spells out death
Deep breathes clear the mind
White hell reveals but one weakness
Decision made, eddie left, floating rebel
Power undescribable, effort unrivalled
The river yields
Joy overpowering, life forever altered
On Arrival
As i gaze across the peaks
Insignificance fills my soul
All emotions overloaded
The sheer size breathtaking
Raw power terrifying
Pure beauty smothering
Yet here I am
The mountain conquered
Body spend and exhausted
While the soul is giddy
Its thirst quenched
Pulsing contentment through my veins
Until the pain resides
When it screams for freedom
The freedom of the hills
Monday, July 03, 2006
New Beginnings
Well after several forays into this blog thing, im gonna try make a more concerted effort. Hopefully i can backpublish various stuff ive got written in odd places on here, and keep yall posted with the various crazy thoughts i have.
If you think im nuts from what i write, ya probably right.
Peace
God Bless
Mike
If you think im nuts from what i write, ya probably right.
Peace
God Bless
Mike
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